- Are you experiencing tension with your family
- Did you grow up in an environment of ongoing tension, fighting and hostility
- Do you find it very difficult to manage your emotions because of their sudden and extreme nature often feeling like you are in crisis
- Do you find it difficult to have stable and healthy relationships
- Do you engage in behaviours of self harm, suicidal ideation or substance abuse
- Do you often question your self-worth or feel unworthy of love
- Do you desperately long for security but find that you often feel lonely
How is family related to a sense of self
Developmental psychologists will often use the term “attachment” to refer to the way in which we connect to our primary caregiver. Typically referring to the mother, but in her absence, this could sometimes be a father or grandparent. It is from this early relationship that children learn their place in the world, by the quality of love and care that they receive from their caregiver.
Children that grow up in unstable and conflictual environments often get confusing messages about safety, stability, and connection. Due to their environment being chaotic and conflictual, they can often become young adults that lack parental validation and find themselves suddenly getting intense surges of emotions. Some will go on to cultivate equally volatile friendships and romantic relationships, mirroring their upbringing. While, others will prefer to avoid connection and closeness due to the associated fears of instability and turbulence.
Effective Treatments: Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
- Support-focused: It encourages you to draw on your strengths to look at yourself and your situation in life.
- Cognitive-based: DBT helps you to identify thoughts, notions, and assumptions that make your life more difficult.
- Collaborative: There is an ongoing engagement between the therapist and yourself to problem solve and engage in various role-plays, homework assignments and self-soothing (mindfulness) exercises. The practice is encouraged on a weekly basis in order for you to learn, apply and master the DBT skills.
Hannah Esmaili-Counselling2Wellness Inc. 2896 Bloor Street West, Etobicoke, ON 416-999-8618